[There's a slight bark of a bitter laugh at that, even if it is stifled and not nearly as unhinged as it could've been if he'd let it go. Before he quickly pulls his composure back together, even if there's still a slight curl to his lips as he initially speaks.]

It's not by choice.

[He taps the edge of his visor's frame, his fingers making an audible hollow sound against it as he does so.]

I wouldn't be able to see without this. Something of a lasting memento from a meeting gone wrong. Like Icarus, I paid the price for my ambition.

[The grin at that is absolutely reflexive, and probably originates from his trying to downplay how much that entire incident and its aftermath actually bothered him, when it inevitably came up around people.

And he's being nice. He's not even mentioning the details of neurotoxin and five years of coma and central nervous system damage only to wake up and find that the love of his life is dead!]